Agonizing pain for being alone.

Karma is visiting his wife in the hospital. It has become somehow like a routine for him to come to the hospital, to see his darling wife, every other day.

‘How are you feeling today?’ he asks, settling near her bed. Wangmo had been admitted to the hospital, a month ago. ‘Am fine’, answers Wangmo. She has become painfully yellow compared to last few days.

She stretches her feeble hand towards Karma and holds his hand. ‘You look tired,’ says Karma. ‘Are you sleeping well?’

‘Oh I was little restless yesterday.’  Wangmo doesn’t talk about the excruciating pain her body’s enduring all the time: she doesn’t want her husband to worry.

‘Any word from Tashi?’ she asks.

Karma shakes his head without looking at her. She turns her head towards the wall.

Tashi, their eldest son, works as a teacher at Mongar. He has left home after getting a job and has never come home.  So their son has become just a name. But despite all the unfairness droned upon them by their precious son, they have never lost hope of seeing him.   

Karma gazes dreamily across chattering hospital ward. The patients lying there looks like a dead corpse so he shifts his sight towards his darling wife.

‘Has the doctor come for the check up?’ karma asks his wife.

‘Yes, just before you came,’ answers his wife in a feeble voice.  ‘Any idea how long they will keep you here?’

Wangmo turn away and coughs into a tissue, then settles back and takes Karma’s hand again. ‘I don’t know. I am sorry to be such a bother.’

Karma wanted to cry his heart out but holds back for the sake of his dear wife. She never wanted to see tears on his eye.

Her small chest heaves under her heavy blanket. Time seems to forget its essence here in the dead zone. The minutes pass in heated tedium.  

'This must be very boring for you,' she says, without opening her eyes.

'Not at all. It does me good to see you.'

 'It's not nice having to visit anybody in hospital. It's so depressing.'

 'Nonsense.'

Wangmo settles her head further back against the dark pillow and braves a smile.

‘You should leave now, Karma. I think I might sleep for a while’

Karma walks slowly outside towards the bench to get some sunlight. 

That night Wangmo passes away in a sleep. Karma knows too well that, hence it’s all by himself.